199+ Funny & Creative Fat Jokes

We all need a good laugh sometimes, and poking a little harmless fun is one of the best ways to lighten the mood.

If you’re looking for some fresh humor that tips the scales in favor of comedy, you’ve come to the right place.

This collection of 199+ funny & creative fat jokes is designed to get you giggling without being mean-spirited.

Get ready for some heavy-duty laughter!

The Benefits of Choosing Funny Fat Jokes

• Ice Breakers: They are great for easing tension in social situations.

• Relatability: Most of us have struggled with a diet or two, making the humor relatable.

• Mood Boosters: A quick laugh releases endorphins and reduces stress instantly.

• Harmless Fun: Lighthearted teasing among friends can actually strengthen bonds.

Read Also: 199+ Funny & Creative Door Mat Jokes

Funny & Creative Maker Fat

1. I’m not saying he’s big, but his shadow weighs ten pounds.
2. She went to the zoo and the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
3. My diet plan is simple: I see food, and I eat it. It’s a “see-food” diet.
4. He’s the only guy I know who has to iron his pants in the driveway.
5. I’m not overweight; I’m just under-tall for my width.
6. When he wears a yellow raincoat, people scream “Taxi!”
7. She stepped on a talking scale, and it said, “One at a time, please.”
8. He’s so big, he has his own gravitational pull.
9. I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?
10. When she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
11. He fell down and rocked himself to sleep trying to get up.
12. I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet. It’s called “I’m hungry.”
13. She put on a pair of heels and struck oil.
14. He sat on a dollar bill and squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
15. I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
16. When he plays hide and seek, he hides in the garage.
17. She wore a gray dress and the Navy tried to land a plane on her.
18. My six-pack is just protected by a layer of bubble wrap.
19. He went to a restaurant and ordered the menu.
20. When she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
21. I’m not saying he’s heavy, but his belt size is “Equator.”
22. She’s at that perfect weight where if she talks, her chin listens.
23. He stepped on the scale and it displayed a phone number.
24. I’m naturally light; I just have heavy bones.
25. When he dances, the band skips.
26. She sat on the TV remote and changed the channel to the Food Network.
27. I have more chins than a Chinese phone book.
28. He’s so big, when he hauls ass, he has to make two trips.
29. When she sits around the house, she really sits around the house.
30. He went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
31. I’m not fat, I’m just overflowing with personality.
32. She’s the reason why the buffet has a time limit.
33. He got on the bus and the driver said, “Full house!”
34. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
35. When she wears high heels, she strikes gold.
36. He’s not fat, he’s just easy to spot in a crowd.
37. I tried to lose weight, but it found me again.
38. She stepped on a scale and it said, “To be continued…”
39. He’s so big, his blood type is Ragu.
40. When he backs up, he beeps.
41. I’m not heavy; I’m just anchor-ready.
42. She went to a tailor and asked for a dress in size “tent.”
43. He’s the reason why group photos are taken in panoramic mode.
44. My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
45. When she jumps in the air, she gets stuck.
46. He’s so big, he wakes up on both sides of the bed.
47. I’m not fat, I’m just storing energy for winter.
48. She wore a Malcolm X jacket and a helicopter tried to land on her.
49. He’s got more rolls than a bakery.
50. When he turns around, people throw him a surprise party.
51. I’m not saying she’s big, but she uses a boomerang to put on her belt.
52. He went to the beach and the lifeguard shouted, “Land ho!”
53. I don’t have a weight problem; I have a wait problem. I can’t wait to eat.
54. She’s so big, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
55. He stepped on a scale and it read, “Help!”
56. When she wears a striped dress, she looks like a barcode.
57. I’m not fat, I’m just cultivating mass.
58. He’s the reason why we have earthquakes.
59. She sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.
60. When he goes camping, the bears hide their food.
61. I’m not heavy, I’m just full of love.
62. She’s so big, when she wears red, people think the Kool-Aid man is in town.
63. He sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
64. When she walks in front of the TV, I miss three episodes.
65. He’s not fat, he’s just a little bit of everything.

Read Also: 199+ Funny & Creative Door Handle Jokes

Unique Fat Jokes One Liners

1. My abs are just playing hide and seek.
2. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
3. Why did the fat guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
4. I’m not saying he’s fat, but his family portrait was an aerial shot.
5. She’s so big, she has to use a mattress as a maxi pad.
6. He’s not fat, he just has a lot of stored potential.
7. I’m not overweight, I’m just undertall.
8. When she sits on the toilet, her feet don’t touch the floor.
9. He’s so big, he has his own zip code.
10. I’m just a little husky, like the dog.
11. She’s the reason why the elevator has a weight limit.
12. He’s not fat, he’s just pleasantly plump.
13. I’m not saying she’s heavy, but she gets group rates at the movies.
14. When he wears a white shirt, he looks like a marshmallow.
15. She’s so big, she has to take a selfie in panorama mode.
16. He’s the reason why the buffet went out of business.
17. I’m not fat, I’m just easy to hug.
18. When she wears leather, people think she’s a couch.
19. He’s so big, he has to grease the door frame to get through.
20. I’m not heavy, I’m just well-insulated.
21. She’s so big, she has her own orbit.
22. He stepped on a scale and it said, “One person at a time.”
23. I’m not saying he’s fat, but he puts mayonnaise on his aspirin.
24. When she wears a bikini, she looks like a globe.
25. He’s not fat, he’s just big-boned.
26. I’m not overweight, I’m just distinctively shaped.
27. She’s so big, she has to use a hula hoop as a belt.
28. He’s the reason why the sidewalk cracks.
29. I’m not saying she’s heavy, but she has her own gravitational field.
30. When he wears a red shirt, people shout “Hey, Kool-Aid!”
31. She’s so big, she uses a satellite dish as a wok.
32. He’s not fat, he’s just horizontally gifted.
33. I’m not saying he’s big, but his belly button has an echo.
34. When she wears polka dots, she looks like a Twister mat.
35. He’s so big, he has to check his weight at a truck stop.
36. I’m not heavy, I’m just comfortably cushioned.
37. She’s the reason why the car suspension broke.
38. He’s not fat, he’s just generously proportioned.
39. I’m not saying she’s big, but she influences the tides.
40. When he jumps into the pool, all the water jumps out.
41. She’s so big, she gets her clothes from a tent store.
42. He’s the reason why the furniture groans.
43. I’m not fat, I’m just full of potential energy.
44. When she wears green, people think she’s a hill.
45. He’s so big, he needs a map to find his feet.
46. I’m not heavy, I’m just solidly built.
47. She’s the reason why the floorboards creak.
48. He’s not fat, he’s just exceptionally sturdy.
49. I’m not saying he’s big, but he blocks out the sun.
50. When she wears blue, people think she’s the ocean.
51. He’s so big, he has to turn sideways to walk down the hall.
52. I’m not fat, I’m just calorie-enriched.
53. She’s the reason why the stairs complain.
54. He’s not heavy, he’s just visually impressive.
55. I’m not saying she’s big, but she takes up two seats on the bus.
56. When he wears stripes, he looks like a zebra crossing.
57. She’s so big, she needs a wide-load sign.
58. He’s the reason why the couch sags.
59. I’m not fat, I’m just extra-large and in charge.
60. When she dances, the floor shakes.
61. He’s so big, he casts a shadow over the whole town.
62. I’m not heavy, I’m just substantial.
63. She’s the reason why the bed broke.
64. He’s not fat, he’s just grand.
65. I’m not saying he’s big, but he could be a planet.

Read Also: 199+ Funny & Creative Tea Time Jokes

Dirty Fat Jokes

1. He’s so fat, he hasn’t seen his feet in years—or anything else down there.
2. She’s so big, when she bends over, you can see the crack of dawn.
3. He’s so fat, he uses a boomerang to put his belt on.
4. Why do fat girls give great hugs? Because there’s so much to grab onto.
5. He’s so big, he needs a GPS to find his belly button.
6. She’s so fat, she puts mayonnaise on her diet pills.
7. He’s so fat, when he gets on top, it’s a life-threatening situation.
8. Why did the fat guy get kicked out of the orgy? He was taking up all the room.
9. She’s so big, her favorite position is “pass the gravy.”
10. He’s so fat, his splash in the pool caused a tsunami.
11. Why don’t fat people play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding that ass.
12. She’s so big, she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.
13. He’s so fat, when he takes a shower, his feet don’t get wet.
14. Why did the fat girl break up with her boyfriend? He couldn’t handle all that jelly.
15. He’s so big, he has to use a paint roller to put on deodorant.
16. She’s so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
17. He’s so fat, he needs a forklift to get out of bed.
18. Why did the fat guy go to the strip club? To see if he could fit in the door.
19. She’s so big, she wears a watch on each wrist because she covers two time zones.
20. He’s so fat, his blood type is Ragu.
21. Why did the fat girl bring a spoon to the bedroom? She heard there was going to be pudding.
22. He’s so big, he has his own orbit.
23. She’s so fat, when she sits on my face, I can’t hear the stereo.
24. He’s so fat, he has to iron his pants in the driveway.
25. Why do fat guys love elevators? Because it makes them feel lightheaded.
26. She’s so big, she uses a mattress as a tampon.
27. He’s so fat, when he wears a yellow raincoat, people shout “Taxi!”
28. Why did the fat girl get a tattoo of a pig on her stomach? So she could watch it dance.
29. He’s so big, he has to pay taxes in two counties.
30. She’s so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
31. He’s so fat, he sweats gravy.
32. Why did the fat guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
33. She’s so big, she has to use a hula hoop as a belt.
34. He’s so fat, he has to grease the door frame to get through.
35. Why did the fat girl wear a raincoat to bed? She wanted to be wet and wild.
36. He’s so big, he uses a bathtub as a cereal bowl.
37. She’s so fat, she has to take a selfie in panorama mode.
38. He’s so fat, when he turns around, people throw him a surprise party.
39. Why did the fat guy eat the calendar? He wanted a date.
40. She’s so big, she has her own zip code.
41. He’s so fat, he uses a satellite dish as a wok.
42. Why did the fat girl bring a map to the bedroom? She wanted to find the G-spot.
43. He’s so big, he has to use a wide-load sign.
44. She’s so fat, when she wears a bikini, she looks like a globe.
45. He’s so fat, he has to check his weight at a truck stop.
46. Why did the fat guy go to the bakery? He heard there were hot buns.
47. She’s so big, she uses a hammock as a thong.
48. He’s so fat, he has to turn sideways to walk down the hall.
49. Why did the fat girl bring a flashlight to bed? She wanted a light snack.
50. He’s so big, he casts a shadow over the whole town.
51. She’s so fat, she has to use a sheet as a napkin.
52. He’s so fat, when he jumps into the pool, all the water jumps out.
53. Why did the fat guy bring a pillow to the gym? He wanted to take a nap between sets.
54. She’s so big, she has to use a rope as a belt.
55. He’s so fat, he has to use a shovel to eat.
56. Why did the fat girl wear a bikini to the beach? She wanted to make waves.
57. He’s so big, he uses a barrel as a cup.
58. She’s so fat, she has to use a blanket as a handkerchief.
59. He’s so fat, when he sits on a chair, the legs splay out.
60. Why did the fat guy bring a sandwich to the movies? He didn’t want to get hungry during the previews.
61. She’s so big, she has to use a tarp as a dress.
62. He’s so fat, he has to use a ladder to get into his truck.
63. Why did the fat girl bring a cake to the party? She wanted to have her cake and eat it too.
64. He’s so big, he uses a swimming pool as a bathtub.
65. She’s so fat, she has to use a tablecloth as a scarf.

Fat Jokes Collected From Reddit

1. “My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.”
2. “I’m not fat. I’m just so sexy it overflows.”
3. “Yo mama so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said: ‘To be continued.'”
4. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
5. “Yo mama so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.”
6. “I’m not saying she’s fat, but she uses a boomerang to put on her belt.”
7. “Yo mama so fat, she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.”
8. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”
9. “Yo mama so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.”
10. “I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.”
11. “Yo mama so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.”
12. “My six-pack is just protected by a layer of bubble wrap.”
13. “Yo mama so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said, ‘One at a time, please.'”
14. “I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.”
15. “Yo mama so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.”
16. “I’m naturally light; I just have heavy bones.”
17. “Yo mama so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a surprise party.”
18. “I don’t have a weight problem; I have a wait problem. I can’t wait to eat.”
19. “Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Ragu.”
20. “I’m not heavy; I’m just anchor-ready.”
21. “Yo mama so fat, when she backs up, she beeps.”
22. “I’m not fat, I’m just storing energy for winter.”
23. “Yo mama so fat, she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.”
24. “I’m not saying he’s heavy, but his belt size is Equator.”
25. “Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.”
26. “I’m just a little husky, like the dog.”
27. “Yo mama so fat, when she jumps in the air, she gets stuck.”
28. “I’m not fat, I’m just overflowing with personality.”
29. “Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a maxi pad.”
30. “I tried to lose weight, but it found me again.”
31. “Yo mama so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people scream ‘Taxi!'”
32. “I’m not fat, I’m just cultivating mass.”
33. “Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.”
34. “My abs are just playing hide and seek.”
35. “Yo mama so fat, she stepped on a scale and it displayed a phone number.”
36. “I’m not fat, I’m just a little bit of everything.”
37. “Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it.”
38. “I’m not fat, I’m just calorie-enriched.”
39. “Yo mama so fat, she uses a satellite dish as a wok.”
40. “I’m not saying he’s big, but his shadow weighs ten pounds.”
41. “Yo mama so fat, when she wears stripes, she looks like a barcode.”
42. “I’m not heavy, I’m just full of love.”
43. “Yo mama so fat, she gets group rates at the movies.”
44. “I’m not saying she’s big, but she influences the tides.”
45. “Yo mama so fat, she uses a hula hoop as a belt.”
46. “I’m not fat, I’m just pleasantly plump.”
47. “Yo mama so fat, when she wears red, people think the Kool-Aid man is in town.”
48. “I’m not overweight, I’m just undertall.”
49. “Yo mama so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phone book.”
50. “I’m not fat, I’m just big-boned.”
51. “Yo mama so fat, she needs a map to find her feet.”
52. “I’m not saying he’s fat, but he blocks out the sun.”
53. “Yo mama so fat, she uses a swimming pool as a bathtub.”
54. “I’m not heavy, I’m just comfortably cushioned.”
55. “Yo mama so fat, she casts a shadow over the whole town.”
56. “I’m not fat, I’m just extra-large and in charge.”
57. “Yo mama so fat, when she dances, the band skips.”
58. “I’m not heavy, I’m just substantially built.”
59. “Yo mama so fat, she has her own zip code.”
60. “I’m not fat, I’m just generously proportioned.”
61. “Yo mama so fat, when she lies on the beach, Greenpeace tries to push her back in.”
62. “I’m not saying she’s big, but she takes up two seats on the bus.”
63. “Yo mama so fat, she uses a hammock as a thong.”
64. “I’m not fat, I’m just visually impressive.”
65. “Yo mama so fat, she broke the family tree.”

Best Fat Jokes

1. My scale and I have a love-hate relationship. I love food, and it hates my weight.
2. I’m not saying he’s fat, but he has to use a boomerang to put his belt on.
3. She’s so big, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
4. He’s the reason why the buffet has a time limit.
5. I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.
6. When he sits around the house, he really sits around the house.
7. She stepped on a talking scale, and it said, “One at a time, please.”
8. He’s so big, he has his own gravitational pull.
9. I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?
10. When she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
11. He fell down and rocked himself to sleep trying to get up.
12. I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet. It’s called “I’m hungry.”
13. She put on a pair of heels and struck oil.
14. He sat on a dollar bill and squeezed a booger out of George Washington’s nose.
15. I’m not fat, I’m just overflowing with personality.
16. When he plays hide and seek, he hides in the garage.
17. She wore a gray dress and the Navy tried to land a plane on her.
18. My six-pack is just protected by a layer of bubble wrap.
19. He went to a restaurant and ordered the menu.
20. When she goes to the beach, the tide comes in.
21. I’m not saying he’s heavy, but his belt size is “Equator.”
22. She’s at that perfect weight where if she talks, her chin listens.
23. He stepped on the scale and it displayed a phone number.
24. I’m naturally light; I just have heavy bones.
25. When he dances, the band skips.
26. She sat on the TV remote and changed the channel to the Food Network.
27. I have more chins than a Chinese phone book.
28. He’s so big, when he hauls ass, he has to make two trips.
29. When she sits around the house, she really sits around the house.
30. He went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
31. I’m not fat, I’m just overflowing with personality.
32. She’s the reason why the buffet has a time limit.
33. He got on the bus and the driver said, “Full house!”
34. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.
35. When she wears high heels, she strikes gold.
36. He’s not fat, he’s just easy to spot in a crowd.
37. I tried to lose weight, but it found me again.
38. She stepped on a scale and it said, “To be continued…”
39. He’s so big, his blood type is Ragu.
40. When he backs up, he beeps.
41. I’m not heavy; I’m just anchor-ready.
42. She went to a tailor and asked for a dress in size “tent.”
43. He’s the reason why group photos are taken in panoramic mode.
44. My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
45. When she jumps in the air, she gets stuck.
46. He’s so big, he wakes up on both sides of the bed.
47. I’m not fat, I’m just storing energy for winter.
48. She wore a Malcolm X jacket and a helicopter tried to land on her.
49. He’s got more rolls than a bakery.
50. When he turns around, people throw him a surprise party.
51. I’m not saying she’s big, but she uses a boomerang to put on her belt.
52. He went to the beach and the lifeguard shouted, “Land ho!”
53. I don’t have a weight problem; I have a wait problem. I can’t wait to eat.
54. She’s so big, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
55. He stepped on a scale and it read, “Help!”
56. When she wears a striped dress, she looks like a barcode.
57. I’m not fat, I’m just cultivating mass.
58. He’s the reason why we have earthquakes.
59. She sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.
60. When he goes camping, the bears hide their food.
61. I’m not heavy, I’m just full of love.
62. She’s so big, when she wears red, people think the Kool-Aid man is in town.
63. He sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
64. When she walks in front of the TV, I miss three episodes.
65. He’s not fat, he’s just a little bit of everything.

Clever & Crazy Fat Jokes

1. I’m on the “whiskey diet.” I’ve lost three days already.
2. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
3. Every time I lose some weight, I find it in the refrigerator.
4. I eat a salad every day. Bean salad, potato salad, macaroni salad, fruit salad…
5. I’m not fat. I’m just holding on to my inner child… who ate a lot of cake.
6. Why did the diet coach get arrested? For aiding and abetting a slimmer.
7. I joined a gym six months ago and I still haven’t lost a pound. Tomorrow, I’m going there in person to see what’s going on.
8. Whenever I feel sad, I go to my happy place. The fridge.
9. I’m not saying I’m fat, but if I were a font, I’d be bold.
10. My favorite yoga pose is the “reclining snacker.”
11. I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.
12. Why don’t diets work? Because they make you quit eating.
13. I burned 2000 calories today. That’s the last time I leave a pizza in the oven too long.
14. My doctor told me to run five miles a day. It’s been a week and I’m 35 miles from home.
15. I’m not overweight. I’m just 3 feet too short.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
17. I’m on a new diet where you eat everything you want and hope for a miracle.
18. I have a love-hate relationship with carbs. I love them, and they hate my waistline.
19. My body is a temple. Ancient, crumbling, and probably cursed.
20. I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.
21. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
22. I don’t run. If you see me running, you should run too because something is chasing me.
23. I’m not saying I’m big, but I have my own ecosystem.
24. My diet starts tomorrow. Or the day after. Definitely next week.
25. I’m not fat, I’m just fluffier than the average bear.
26. Why did the vegetable band break up? Because they couldn’t find a beet.
27. I’m on a low-carb diet. I only eat carbs when I’m low.
28. My trainer told me to touch my toes. I told him I’m not that flexible, but I can wave at them.
29. I’m not saying I’m heavy, but I make the scale nervous.
30. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field (and very thin).
31. I’m not fat, I’m just a little extra.
32. I’m on a see-food diet. I see food, and I eat it.
33. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
34. I’m not saying I’m big, but I’m harder to kidnap.
35. My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
36. I’m not fat, I’m just full of awesome.
37. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
38. I’m not saying I’m heavy, but I make a great paperweight.
39. My diet is going well. I’ve lost my appetite for salads.
40. I’m not fat, I’m just well-rounded.
41. Why did the hamburger go to the gym? To get better buns.
42. I’m on a juice cleanse. I’ve cleared out all the juice in the fridge.
43. I’m not saying I’m big, but I’m a force to be reckoned with.
44. My favorite exercise is chewing.
45. I’m not fat, I’m just horizontally challenged.
46. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a watermelon.
47. I’m on a liquid diet. Ice cream melts, right?
48. I’m not saying I’m heavy, but I anchor the boat just by sitting on it.
49. My doctor told me to eat more greens. So I bought lime skittles.
50. I’m not fat, I’m just pleasantly padded.
51. Why did the lettuce blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
52. I’m on a diet. I’m cutting out all the things I don’t like.
53. I’m not saying I’m big, but I’m a big deal.
54. My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
55. I’m not fat, I’m just uniquely shaped.
56. Why did the bread go to the doctor? It was feeling yeast infections.
57. I’m on a chocolate diet. It’s sweet.
58. I’m not saying I’m heavy, but I make the floorboards groan.
59. My doctor told me to stop eating late at night. So I eat early in the morning.
60. I’m not fat, I’m just extra cuddly.
61. Why did the apple stop running? It ran out of juice.
62. I’m on a pizza diet. One slice at a time.
63. I’m not saying I’m big, but I have a lot of presence.
64. My favorite sport is lifting… forks to my mouth.
65. I’m not fat, I’m just comfortably plump.

Fat Jokes for Adult

1. Why do fat girls give great hugs? Because there’s so much to hold onto.
2. He’s so big, he has to use a boomerang to put his belt on.
3. She’s so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
4. He’s so fat, he uses a mattress as a maxi pad.
5. Why did the fat guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
6. She’s so big, when she bends over, you can see the crack of dawn.
7. He’s so fat, he puts mayonnaise on his aspirin.
8. Why don’t fat people play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding that ass.
9. She’s so big, her favorite position is “pass the gravy.”
10. He’s so fat, his splash in the pool caused a tsunami.
11. Why did the fat girl break up with her boyfriend? He couldn’t handle all that jelly.
12. She’s so fat, she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.
13. He’s so big, he has to use a paint roller to put on deodorant.
14. Why did the fat guy go to the strip club? To see if he could fit in the door.
15. She’s so big, she wears a watch on each wrist because she covers two time zones.
16. He’s so fat, his blood type is Ragu.
17. Why did the fat girl bring a spoon to the bedroom? She heard there was going to be pudding.
18. He’s so big, he has his own orbit.
19. She’s so fat, when she sits on my face, I can’t hear the stereo.
20. He’s so fat, he has to iron his pants in the driveway.
21. Why do fat guys love elevators? Because it makes them feel lightheaded.
22. She’s so big, she uses a mattress as a tampon.
23. He’s so fat, when he wears a yellow raincoat, people shout “Taxi!”
24. Why did the fat girl get a tattoo of a pig on her stomach? So she could watch it dance.
25. He’s so big, he has to pay taxes in two counties.
26. She’s so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
27. He’s so fat, he sweats gravy.
28. Why did the fat guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
29. She’s so big, she has to use a hula hoop as a belt.
30. He’s so fat, he has to grease the door frame to get through.
31. Why did the fat girl wear a raincoat to bed? She wanted to be wet and wild.
32. He’s so big, he uses a bathtub as a cereal bowl.
33. She’s so fat, she has to take a selfie in panorama mode.
34. He’s so fat, when he turns around, people throw him a surprise party.
35. Why did the fat guy eat the calendar? He wanted a date.
36. She’s so big, she has her own zip code.
37. He’s so fat, he uses a satellite dish as a wok.
38. Why did the fat girl bring a map to the bedroom? She wanted to find the G-spot.
39. He’s so big, he has to use a wide-load sign.
40. She’s so fat, when she wears a bikini, she looks like a globe.
41. He’s so fat, he has to check his weight at a truck stop.
42. Why did the fat guy go to the bakery? He heard there were hot buns.
43. She’s so big, she uses a hammock as a thong.
44. He’s so fat, he has to turn sideways to walk down the hall.
45. Why did the fat girl bring a flashlight to bed? She wanted a light snack.
46. He’s so big, he casts a shadow over the whole town.
47. She’s so fat, she has to use a sheet as a napkin.
48. He’s so fat, when he jumps into the pool, all the water jumps out.
49. Why did the fat guy bring a pillow to the gym? He wanted to take a nap between sets.
50. She’s so big, she has to use a rope as a belt.
51. He’s so fat, he has to use a shovel to eat.
52. Why did the fat girl wear a bikini to the beach? She wanted to make waves.
53. He’s so big, he uses a barrel as a cup.
54. She’s so fat, she has to use a blanket as a handkerchief.
55. He’s so fat, when he sits on a chair, the legs splay out.
56. Why did the fat guy bring a sandwich to the movies? He didn’t want to get hungry during the previews.
57. She’s so big, she has to use a tarp as a dress.
58. He’s so fat, he has to use a ladder to get into his truck.
59. Why did the fat girl bring a cake to the party? She wanted to have her cake and eat it too.
60. He’s so big, he uses a swimming pool as a bathtub.
61. She’s so fat, she has to use a tablecloth as a scarf.
62. He’s so fat, he has to use a crane to get out of bed.
63. Why did the fat guy join the gym? To pick up girls… literally.
64. She’s so big, she has to use a billboard as a name tag.
65. He’s so fat, he has to use a fire hose as a straw.

Fat Jokes for kids

1. Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
3. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was feeling crummy.
4. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
5. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
6. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
8. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
9. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
10. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
12. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore.
13. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
14. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
15. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus.
16. What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
17. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
18. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
19. Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
20. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
21. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with.
22. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
23. Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants.
24. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
25. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
26. What do you call a bear with no ears? B.
27. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
28. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
29. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long.
30. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
31. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a watermelon.
32. What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
33. Why did the orange stop rolling? It ran out of juice.
34. What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.